Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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