and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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