What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
