My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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