I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
