I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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