Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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