There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Farmville is her only friend.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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