Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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