Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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