HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
