smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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