I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
