Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
