were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
