She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
