Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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