bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
