why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
