I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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