i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
