I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
