Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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