Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
