Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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