my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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