So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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