how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
