I can tuck mytits in my pants
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
