honey bunches of taint.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
