Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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