the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
