The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
