she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
