You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
