DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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