So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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