I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
