He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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