Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
