yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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