I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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