So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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