I just saw a hot homeless man
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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