I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
