So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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