Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize