So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
