Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize