Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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