i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you would pick up someone in the library
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
