I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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