There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
