they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
